LIFE WITH CYNTHIA: Has our life’s journey become more complicated?

It’s Saturday morning as I write this and I have been looking forward to the weekend like most working folks.

No matter how much one loves their job, a couple of days off is always welcome. However, what does a day off look like? Is it a day to catch up on all the tasks and chores that do not get done during the workweek? Is a day off time for binging streamed programming? Is it a day to bury yourself in a good book? Do some baking? Or does your day off, like mine, become chaos of muddled jobs all needing to be done?

Saturday began like it always does: I get up and strip the bed of its sheets and put on a clean set, preparing to do a load of laundry. Sounds simple enough. I changed the bedsheets, tossed the soiled ones into the laundry basket and headed toward the kitchen, stopping along the way at the bathroom, to claim towels and face cloths. Then I detoured to the stove to grab hanging tea towels and took the overflowing basket to the door. I live in an apartment building and the laundry is in the common space downstairs. I am still in my pyjamas and put the basket by the door to wait until I am showered and dressed. 

Coffee! Off to the kitchen to put on the kettle and while it brings the water to a boil, I sit down at the computer to check some e-mails. I click on the icon and I wait, and I wait, and I wait. Now, I should tell you that my computer is a 2015 model of which has had the fruit people who developed it uses words like “vintage” and “obsolete” when I have called for some assistance. I have been told that soon they will not support this aging piece of equipment. That said, the computer works well most days, if my patience persists, and I allow the time it needs to think. You see like anything that is aging the world can move faster than the processor. 

While I am waiting, I open a second window that is a current work project. I begin reading and tweaking a project for work on Monday. Wait! It is my day off!  I discipline myself to tuck it away and by now the email has opened and I review the unread list. In there is an invitation to update a program I recently purchased. I click on the button and am whisked to the website. While it is processing the download, I realize the kettle is finished boiling the water and go to make coffee. With a fresh cup in hand, I return to the computer and begin to review e-mails and downloads. As I look the computer is completely absorbed in the download, so I reach for my phone to use while waiting. 

What’s this? A little red dot on the systems icon telling me there is an update as well. I click on the “install now” and it goes to work. I now have all technology busy processing upgrades, downloads and installs, all before I have taken my first sip of coffee. This is a day off? I look up and see the laundry at the door and decide to shower, clean up and get dressed. I have time while the technology in my world does its work. 

I head across the room and notice my plant is droopy. Does it need water? I go to the plant and touch the soil. It is soaking wet. I have a bad habit of pouring leftover tea on my plants without checking them and realizing the plant is overwatered. I take it to the counter and collect the other plants thinking I will dump them out and add some new soil to help soak up some of the moisture. I have no newspaper to dump them on so I check the recycling for papers. It takes me back past the laundry basket which reminds me, I was heading to shower and dress so I could get the laundry into the wash. I turn on my heel, leave the basket, see the plants on the counter, hear the computer ping and realized I am stressed and I have not even had breakfast yet! I stopped and wondered to myself, is this what a “day off” looks like? 

I did end up showering and got on with my day. I poured the excess water off the plant and put it in a warm spot to begin drying it out.  The computer and the phone both completed their processing and updating. All this multi-tasking stops me in my tracks. When did our lives become but a whole “to-do” list? Whatever happened to the sabbath? Where did a day of rest go? I think it went out with our absorption of Sunday into the week of work and chores. Not that I believe we need to go back to holding Sunday solely for “church” however, the idea of the sabbath could be revisited. I for one, am aware I have lost the concept. 

Sabbath, by definition, is a day of rest. A day set aside where jobs, chores and work are minimal and are a time taken for the soul, giving the spirit a chance to speak out and balance life. A time for the energetic practice of remaining connected to the core of being. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and it is our job to remember to allow for time to rest. In a world where we have dishwashers, microwaves, fast cars, Zoom meetings and air travel, all of which save time, it seems we have less and less of it for what matters. Ourselves. 

I finally did get the laundry into the machine after showering, getting dressed, and having something to eat. It was a time-consuming task because after running the cycle through twice, water still dripped. On the first attempt, the machine seemed to be off-balance and did not spin correctly. I ran it again, and still, when I picked up the clothes, they were very wet. I took the wet lot over to my daughter's house and put it through the drain and spin cycle, I finally had clothes spun enough I could put them in the dryer. Even the washer was off balance. The computer is tired too. At seven years old, that is 90 in computer years, so I broke down and ordered a new one, trading in the vintage, obsolete unit to put it out of its misery. 

We are all tired and time-deprived. The good news is we can rest, and we can set the clocks back. Reclaiming sabbath time for our soul to be present with our ego and let them have coffee together. Leave the multitasking to Windows. Open the real windows of your home and heart. Not to do more work simultaneously, but to air out the clutter and the chaos. Be like the washing machine and be off-balance, not caring that it is inconvenient for others. I give you an acronym to use when you feel oppressed and need to find a bench on your dotted line of life. 

S.T.O.P.

S: slow down and realize your surroundings
T: take a few deep breaths and reset your inner workings
O: observe your immediate world and look at where you are
P: process the chaos and let it go 

Cynthia Breadner is a grief specialist and bereavement counsellor, a soul care worker and offers specialized care in Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy with special attention as a cognitive behavioral therapy practitioner and trauma incident resolution facilitator.  She volunteers at hospice, works as a LTC chaplain and is a death doula, assisting with end-of-life care for client and family.  She is the mother part of the #DanCynAdventures duo and practices fitness, health and wellness.  She is available remotely by safe and secure video connections, if you have any questions contact her today!  [email protected]  breakingstibah.com