Valentine’s Day is all about love.
This Valentine’s Day, why not start with a little self-love?
The Bradford Women’s+ Group welcomed guest speaker Nicole Millard, for a presentation on Self Love – because, as Millard told the capacity crowd at the Bradford West Gwillimbury Leisure Centre, “self-love isn’t selfish… If you aren’t filling your cup, you can’t give to others.”
Self-love may be “a buzzword on Instagram,” Millard said, but it is so much more. “It really is the root of all our happiness – feeling good about yourself, knowing and understanding your own self-worth and self-value.”
What followed was a session on mindfulness, empowerment and positive thinking.
Millard, who has studied Yale University’s Science of Happiness and Wellness, credits her own past experiences for her desire to empower other women to “fall in love with their lives.”
From being bullied in elementary school, to a career as a photographer, she said it led her to develop greater empathy and recognition of the importance of self-confidence and self love. In boudoir photography, especially, she saw a blossoming of self-awareness and found herself “connecting with people while they connect with themselves.”
As a girl, Millard was told repeatedly that she was “chubby” and “non-athletic” – and, she said, “I believed it. That was my identity… What is really true is what you believe about yourself.”
Hear a negative concept often enough and it becomes real. “You’re training your subconscious mind to accept that as an internal truth,” Millard said.
It was only after she rejected those negative concepts, going on to embrace weightlifting, and that she was able to find her own identity and learn to use the power of repetition to build a positive self-image.
“Start to observe your internal dialogue,” she said, noting there is energy and intention behind every word. “Be very aware of how you’re using your words,” and use that self-awareness, and repetition of positive affirmations and positive statements, to build a more positive self image.
“You’re literally teaching your brain how to function – training your brain,” said Millard, using video clips and exercises that ranged from meditation, to gratitude journaling to illustrate her points.
“You program your mind to look for things that are important to you, savour positive experiences,” she said.
The result, she said, is better physical health, better relations, happiness, and a sense of self-love.
It was only the second meeting of the Bradford Women’s+ Group, which was founded by BWG residents Leeann Scott, Sukham Dhindsa and Jennifer Lloyd, that focuses not on networking or business connections, but on personal development.
“We started this because we don’t have anything like this in town besides entrepreneurship" and groups for women in business, said Scott.
“We wanted it to be about personal growth and empowerment. Not everyone is an entrepreneur,” agreed Dhindsa.
The group, which held its first meeting in January, has attracted a diversity of women – from businesswomen, to moms looking for an evening out, ranging in age from their 20s, to 70-plus.
“We’ve really been overwhelmed by the response. We want to create a space we would want to go to,” said Lloyd, and where a range of topics can be discussed in a safe and encouraging setting. “It’s building that community of women, all really strong, all committed,” interested in learning new information and new skills to support personal growth.
Millard provided a toolbox for becoming more confident and building a sense of worth. Feeling depressed? Try changing your posture, she said.
“Physiology impacts psychology” – and a “high power pose,” with head up, and shoulders back, can actually build strength.
Feeling nervous in an interview? “You can trick your mind,” Millard said. The ‘symptoms’ of nervousness are identical with those of being excited. “Tell yourself that you are excited.”
And look for purpose. “Having a purpose for your life, seeking ways to help others, seeking ways to fulfill your life… What are you here to do? Why are you put here on Earth? What are you good at? Finding purpose makes you feel more alive, more human,” said Millard.
“You get to choose. You get to program your brain,” she said. “Use your body and physiology and your mind to your own advantage,” and replace negative habits with new, positive habits.
“You deserve to love yourself. You need to really take self-care seriously, you need to take self-awareness seriously,” Millard said. “Self-care is the greatest gift you can give to the people around you.”
Self-love builds kindness, happiness, self-confidence, empathy. “When you fill yourself with love, you radiate love,” she said.
The message was well-received.
“This was great. It was great to connect with so many women,” said participant Lindsay Clara-Reis. “How can you try to support someone when your glass is empty?”
“I loved it. I loved the speaker – she was very informative. The techniques she was talking about are so important,” added Linda Laviola.
International Women's Day
The next meeting of Bradford Women’s+ Group takes place March 4 at the BWG Public Library’s Zima Room for a celebration of International Women’s Day.
Organizers are hoping to have four speakers from the community, women who are willing to share their stories of empowerment, resilience and inspiration. Anyone interested in speaking is asked to contact Bradford Women’s+ Group before Feb. 18, at [email protected] or 905-251-9926.
Those interested in attending the meeting should also register in advance because space is limited.
The Bradford Women’s+ Group is founded on principles of confidentiality, respect, inclusion and positivity. Sessions aim to “create dialogue and increase awareness of some of the concerns and issues affecting women+ in our community,” and bring women together.
“The focus is on professional development and having fun – to feel we can share with one another,” said Lloyd.
“I can’t wait to see us grow even more, and make connections,” added Scott.
