WAIT!! Last week I wrote this: “I also notice my toes and my feet and my legs. I stretch my feet and flex my ankles while feeling the stretch in my calves. I wait to see if there is any soreness or something I should feel or hear. I feel the muscles moving in my thighs. The largest and most powerful set of muscles in the body are the quadricep muscles.”
Today, as I recall these words, they take on a totally different definition because I am waiting to see how 37.65 km feels on this body as I awaken. On Saturday morning, early in the dawning light I headed out for my first solo camping weekend. I recall these words from last week, as I awoke. There were some sore spots however nothing that prevented me from greeting the day and getting up and moving around.
It was a great experience this past 48 hours as I drove to the designated spot that I would call home for Saturday night. Our plan was to hike map 24, Blue Mountains, and map 25, Kolopore Uplands in the Beaver Valley area. This amazing landscape is true evidence of the escarpment and when you are on these rocks you are in line with Niagara Falls as this rock face is one and the same.
It feels monumental to stand and look over the edge of Old Baldy or climbing around Metcalfe Rock realizing you are connecting yourself spiritually to Niagara Falls. The Niagara Escarpment in all its wonder is amazing and travels along a vein that continues from Niagara, through the Bruce Peninsula, Manitoulin Island, and through to the west side of Lake Michigan. My little feet covered 37.65 km this past weekend, which is a drop in the bucket of distance compared to the whole.
In the stillness of the trail, I take the opportunity to shed emotions and challenges that trouble me. I choose to hand them over to the divine source that created this wonder, called the escarpment, and plant my feet firmly on this ground knowing I can leave the troubles here and the rock will be a firm foundation.
It is there on the trail, as I walk alone, I ask myself, “what is troubling me?” because I have the time to set aside the busy-ness of daily life and truly look at my soul’s questions. When asked why I hike, this is my answer, “one cannot hide from the soul’s questions when one is on the trail in nature!”
I drove the distance to the grassy knoll. This lovely perch is where I will pitch my tent and make my home for Saturday night. My trail angel helped me take my things out to the knoll as it was a kilometre from the house. I hung my pack for the day and they drove me to the starting point at the edge of Loree Forest. It was here at the 4.2 km marker I began my day. I was “slack packing” as hard-core hikers call it when one has just enough stuff in their little pack to last the day. I had left the tent, sleeping bag, etc. at the knoll with plans to set it up upon my return after the day of hiking. I headed into the Loree Forest and began my journey.
Each time we put our daily bread into our little “slack” pack and head out on a journey we seldom know what to expect. Hitches in our plan, unexpected injuries, or broken-down cars often set us back or hold us up! We never know what lies in the road ahead, we can simply load up our pack and begin. This day, full of sunshine and passion, I started my journey.
As I sat, to eat my lunch, I looked at the beautiful stream passing before me. My mind travels to past events with water because I am weighing whether I need to get some to drink. My cup runneth over on this day and I am well equipped with water. Other days I might be parched, and this stream would be a lifeline to quenching my thirst.
Some may turn up their nose at drinking stream water passing in front of you over rocks with fish and frogs jumping freely, yet when one is truly thirsty one drinks at the well that will keep you alive. This thought reminded me of the time when my folks were selling the farm. It was 1971 and I was 12 years old. There were people in the kitchen and my dad went to the sink and poured a glass of water. The man took it looked at it and took a sip. He handed it to the woman, and she stepped away as if it was loaded, making a face, and shook her head “no” very clearly. She was not touching this glass of water.
As a 12-year-old I could not figure out what was wrong with our water. She obviously was not very thirsty! What does it mean to be spiritually thirsty? This day sitting at this stream I realize not only is my water bottle full of drinkable water, but my soul is also at the well and I know my spiritual thirst is well quenched.
I continued my day and enjoyed each step. As I crossed the cut field, at the end of the day, I was heading to the knoll, it crossed my mind that some might think me brave. A 61-year-old woman, alone on the knoll needing to pitch the tent, get myself set up, cook up something to eat with nothing but water to boil, and prepare to hunker down for the night before it got dark.
The temperature was dropping quickly as I prepared for the night, and I needed to have at hand enough warmth as it ended up dropping to 12 degrees. I was prepared. I was ready for the darkness of night with warm clothing, a good sleeping bag, and a flannel wrap for my feet. When darkness falls upon you are you ready, with the right tools at hand? Many are not prepared for the dark times of life let alone any preparation for spiritual darkness.
I awoke in the night about 4 a.m. and got out of the tent. The waxing crescent moon was in the south and the stars were spectacular. The air was crisp, and I was alone on the knoll with nothing but my faith to keep me company. I breathed in the fresh night air and walked out far enough to see the sky in all its glory. I was not afraid nor was I feeling any losses in my life.
Each day as I “slack” pack my way along, I take the time at night to unpack what I picked up, clear out the day’s clutter, let it go, tag it to the worry bush and know tomorrow will bring new challenges, like another 20 km., so if I am to carry the 21 km from today then the load will get pretty heavy in time.
May your days be slack-pack light, and may you know enough to let go of that which weighs you down. May you find the tools you need to help you in the darkness so you can face it with no fear. May you believe in greater things for yourself like the courage to do what others will call brave, knowing it is beyond beautiful …. In fear, most people are held back and truly do not know what they are missing! May you find yourself on the grassy knoll feeling fulfilled and looking at the moon and the stars in wonder!
Cynthia Breadner is a grief specialist and bereavement counsellor, a soul care worker and offers specialized care in Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy with special attention as a cognitive behavioral therapy practitioner and trauma incident resolution facilitator. She volunteers at hospice, works as a LTC chaplain and is a death doula, assisting with end-of-life care for client and family. She is the mother part of the #DanCynAdventures duo and practices fitness, health and wellness. She is available remotely by safe and secure video connections, if you have any questions contact her today! [email protected] breakingstibah.com
