“Love people and use things, not the other way around, because the opposite never works.” Joshua Fields Millburn
On Christmas Day, I was in our bubble with family and it was a joyous time. We were missing some so it was sad too! It is different this year as the three-year-old begins to understand the Santa concept and that rubs up against the indifference of the baby. As long as the baby has a warm place to sleep, food in their tummy and a rattling toy, life is pretty good.
As I sat with the baby, holding the bottle, I watched as he explored his hand. I held the bottle, and he was sucking away enjoying the formula when all of a sudden, he stopped. He lifted his left hand up very slowly until I could tell it came into view for him. He looked at it intently. He then looked up at me with his dark brown eyes and the questions were there in those eyes. He looked back at his hand and back at me.
Silently, I could hear him saying, “what is this?” and “how cool!” He turned it back and forth, looking first at the palm and then at the back of the hand. His plump little hand with dimples at the knuckles, the size of one of the mandarin oranges in the bowl on the table. He studied it with furrowed brow and the sucking stopped. He then slowly closed his fingers into a fist turning it like it was a precious jewel, observing it with intention. Looking at it as if it was a miracle! He then opened his fingers and the fist relaxed into the open palm again. He did it again and again, watching it, and between watches, he would take a suck or two. Making a wee fist and then opening it up and closing it again. He made very small, incremental movements with his hand.
He then looked over the bottle at me and smiled the biggest smile I ever saw. Milk dribbled down his wee cheek and overflowed from his mouth into the crack in his neck. His eyes were pools of delight and glistened with joy. He was amazed at his own amazement. This wee boy, with the future looking so bright, the world his oyster is amazed at the simple movement of his hand.
When was this joy and unadulterated resonation of simplicity knocked out of us? When did we lose this innocence? An innocence where exploring the opening and closing of our hand became mundane or less than enough to brighten our day? When did our hunger for more become so intense that asking for a day off for Tim Horton’s staff is unthinkable? Where in this hunger for more, bigger, this insatiability to accumulate has trumped simple happiness?
2021 is upon us this week and we will change our calendars and look to a new clean slate and there is a year ahead with no mistakes in it. Or as Miss Stacey, from Anne of Green Gables says, “no mistakes in it, YET!”, we must welcome this new year and let go of the past in order for it to be a fresh start.
Let’s lose the “YET” or the anticipation that what can go wrong, will go wrong. People set resolutions and goals for the year ahead and these goals never come to fruition because no one releases the past where these desires are born. They bring with the goals the limiting beliefs that hold the goals hostage.
Change only comes when there is a great desire to shift. When the push of the pain meets the pull of the change one sees results. This means you must want to leave behind the limiting beliefs, the old-world view, and look ahead into the future with the change in it. One must believe it possible and imagine it true before it can come to be. Aspirations for a great year must come from uplifting, positive centred faithful desire.
As I watched this tiny baby realize his own hand I am reminded about the simple things in life.
Taking the time to be present is a great goal for 2021. Coming home to rest inside our own hearts and listening to our desires, setting dreams for 2021, and then letting these dreams come true.
As I look down lovingly at my grandson knowing his life is just beginning, I am invited to explore his hand with him. I cannot rush his learning I can only witness it. Maybe that is a good 2021 aspiration: witness life and love my way forward knowing we have finite time here in this adventure. One day I will be old and when the Cat’s in the Cradle I want to know I watched as the children discovered their own hands.
Cynthia Breadner is a grief specialist and bereavement counsellor, a soul care worker and offers specialized care in Applied Metapsychology with special attention to trauma resolution. She volunteers at hospice, works as a LTC chaplain and is a death doula, assisting with end-of-life care for client and family. She is the mother part of the #DanCynAdventures duo and practices fitness, health and wellness. She is available remotely by safe and secure video connections, if you have any questions contact her today! [email protected] breakingstibah.com
